Monday, April 29, 2013

What to Wear: while slaying zombies


When the world's gone to shit and you find yourself in a real life Walking Dead, you want to be comfortable and prepared. So, out of my concern and care for all of you, here is a quick and dirty post outlining what to wear while killing brain-sucking zombies.

1. Coveralls. They may be terrible when you need a bathroom break, but in every other instance, they're the perfect outerwear. They're comfortable and easy to move around in and they keep the blood and gore off your underclothes. So, you know, you look good when you make it to the zombie-free promise land.

2. A well fitted hard hat. You'll want to protect that brain of yours, since that's what zombies are after, so it's a good idea to wear something they can't weasel their teeth into. My suggestion is a hardhat, but you could wear any type of helmet. In fact, it might be better to have something with a chin strap since you'll likely be doing a good deal of running.

3. Rubber boots. Let's get back to the blood and gore, shall we? Yeah, you're going to be seeing and trudging through a lot of that, so you're going to want some shoes that are waterproof and easy to clean (again, because you obviously want to look your best when everything is said and done).

4. A scarf. This might seem like an odd choice, so let me explain. A) a scarf can keep you warm and B) it can be used to clean the blood of your face after battle. Win-win, folks.

5. Weapon. In this instance I have a fireman's axe. I'm not sure that that would be my implement of choice in the case of an actual zombie apocolypse, but for now it will do. I mean, it's better than a gun, right? I wouldn't want to be creating a bunch of noise and attracting the whole pack, after all.

What do you think, am I on the right track? 
What would you add or subtract from my outfit?

11 comments:

  1. baha.. you nutter! Did you notice the axe is in fact pointed at your head... so methinks you're ready to chop your own block off (much like I would be tempted to do if attacked by a hoard of zombies!! lol).
    Annnnnnyway, good luck with that bud. ;o)
    xx
    mel
    needle and nest

    ReplyDelete
  2. All very solid points! I wonder though if maybe the bright yellow is more of a liability in a zombie-infested land? I'm thinking even if they're the type of zombies who don't use their eyes for the hunting of brains, there might still be some... undesirables... taking advantage of all of the post-apocalyptic mayhem.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hard hat, definitely.
    I think you got this spot on. ;)
    That last cat post had me cracking up, btw.

    Ladaisi Blog

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope you went to the shops in that outfit- amazingly fabulous outfit by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha! This is perfect, I need to get my own outfit ready. I already have some killer boots that I call my 'zombie crushers' so that's settled :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahha this is great! I definitely like the coveralls, and the axe is a great weapon! I'm surprised I haven't seen it make an appearance in any certain popular zombie survival shows!
    And for further advice on zombie apocalypse know-how, may I recommend the Canadian made web-series Seth on Survival! My boyfriend stars in it, so I might be biased, but it's funny as all get out :)

    --Erin

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good choices
    my only concern is with the brightness of the overalls- surely camouflage would be better?
    http://ahandfulofhope.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  8. I dunno... the coveralls & rubber boots would make it hard to run fast, no? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. i love this! i'd use a cross bow for a weapon because i wouldn't wanna get blood splatter in my mucus membranes, and therefore infected, with the closeness of using an ax. :p

    ReplyDelete
  10. Take out the scarf. What if it got caught on something while you were running away? And strangled you? (that's the Mother in me talking...)

    Running shoes. For running away. (Have you never seen Zombieland?)

    The ax is good, but I agree with Alycia...it might be too close for comfort. BFF bought a flint rifle that he can make bullets for, so when the actual zombie apocalypse comes I plan on using that. But until I get to his house, I have a shovel and a pitch fork. No ammunition needed.

    I never thought about a helmet before, but now that you mention it...it's a good thing I keep my bike helmet at the door

    I would also add a backpack. For carrying extra weapons, clothes, food and water.

    I have put a lot of thought in to my zombie escape plan. BFF thinks it has lots of holes, but I have some time to refine it I think...

    ReplyDelete